CUPID'S BOOK REVIEW: "Still Single" by Cassie Maxwell Clair

Thorough and good thoughts from someone who spent many years alone and has “been there” herself. While the book could benefit anyone seeking a satisfying and lasting relationship, it would particularly benefit those who have “been through it” with a series of non fulfilling partners. As Ms. Clair states in her

Introduction: “I’m hoping this book can spare you some…pain, and some time…and bring you closer to the relationship you deserve.” This book is thoughtful and thought provoking. It takes time and a good deal of self analysis to deal with these problems. The thorough information included will greatly assist with that process. Early on, Ms. Clair provides detail and guidance relative to two very relevant lists.

The Ones To Run From:

1. Someone Married

Her suggestion: “Do yourself a favor. Try on the title “mistress” before you buy it. Say it out loud: “I’m his mistress.” It doesn’t feel very good, does it? Wouldn’t you rather be able to say: “I’m in love with him, and he’s in love with me, and we’re there for each other?” You do not get to say that with an affair.” (It’s important to mention that Ms. Clair properly identifies herself as not being a moralist. She is a realist. She is not criticizing anyone for having an affair. She stated she had one herself. She is just commenting on the consequences of it. She indicates that only about 5% of all affairs end up as permanent, loving relationships. “Not very good odds”,she says.)

2. Someone Who Tells You They’re Unavailable

Know how to really listen. It means you too. Do not take it as a challenge.

3. Alcoholics, Workaholics, Any “Holics”

4. You’re The “Holic”

5. Someone Who Wants You To Change

(Not just someone who makes some suggestions sometimes, but someone who wants to control the process of your changing or never seems satisfied with you the way you are.)

6. You Want To Change Someone

(It won’t work and you’ll wear yourself out trying.)

7. Someone Not Over A Past Love

8. Can’t Get Over Hating A Past Love

9. A Dishonest Person

The Ones To Watch Out For:

1. Someone Who Rushes Into Love

2. You’re The Rusher

3. Someone Just Out of A Relationship

(him or you)

4. Someone Who Doesn’t Share Your Fundamental Beliefs

5. Major Differences in Age, Intelligence or Status

6. A Person Who Is Too Jealous, or Into Drama

7. Someone Who Crosses Your Sexual Boundaries

8. Someone Too Miserly

9. Someone Too Negative or Depressed

Ms. Craig also discusses the ways women keep themselves unavailable and how they can become truly available again.

A subsequent chapter is entitled “The Questions To Ask – The Answers To Listen For”. The topics suggested can be useful in helping to make conversation – with an eye toward constructivity. Lastly, she discusses various success stories that led to love, romance and relational success.

Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship

When Brian and Sarah began dating, all of her friends were envious. Brian was smart, sensitive, funny, athletic, and good-looking.

For the first couple of months, Sarah seemed happy. She started to miss her friends and family, though, because she was spending more time with Brian and less time with everyone else. That seemed easier than dealing with Brian's endless questions. He worried about what she was doing at every moment of the day.

Sarah's friends became concerned when her behavior started to change. She lost interest in the things she once enjoyed, like swim meets and going to the mall. She became secretive and moody. When her friends asked Sarah if she was having trouble with Brian, she denied that anything was wrong. What was going on?

Read this article to find out how to tell if you or a friend is being abused and what you can do about it.

What Is Abuse?
Everyone has heard the songs about how much love can hurt. But that doesn't mean physical harm: Someone who loves you should never abuse you. Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person.

Sadly, though, lots of relationships turn abusive. In fact, 1 in 11 high school students report being physically hurt by a date.

Abuse can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even seem flattering. Think of a friend whose boyfriend or girlfriend is insanely jealous: Maybe it seems like your friend's partner really cares about him or her. But actually, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs of affection at all. Love involves respect and trust; it doesn't mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship.

Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships.

Emotional Abuse: (stuff like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others) can be difficult to recognize because it doesn't leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, putdowns, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt — not just during the time it's happening, but long after too.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, guy or girl. It's never right to be forced into any type of sexual experience that you don't want.

The first step in getting out of an abusive relationship is to realize that you have the right to be treated with respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another person.

Signs of an Abusive Relationships
Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

Harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching

Tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say.

Frequently humiliates you or making you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)

Coerces or threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions

Demands to know where you are at all times

Constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like "If you loved me, you would . . . " that's also a warning of possible abuse. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want — not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused
In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs a friend might be being abused by a partner:

Unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks

Excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason

Secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family

Avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense

A person who is being abused needs someone to hear and believe him or her. Maybe your friend is afraid to tell a parent because that will bring pressure to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it's their fault — that they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. But abuse is never deserved.

Help your friend understand that it is not his or her fault. Your friend is not a bad person. The person who is being abusive has a serious problem and needs professional help.

A friend who is being abused needs your patience, love, and understanding. Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an adult, such as a parent or guidance counselor. Most of all, your friend needs you to listen without judging. It takes a lot of courage to admit being abused; let your friend know that you're offering your full support.

How You Can Help Yourself
What should you do if you are suffering from any type of abuse? If you think you love someone but often feel afraid, it's time to get out of the relationship — fast. You're worth being treated with respect and you can get help.

First, make sure you're safe. A trusted adult can help. If the person has physically attacked you, don't wait to get medical attention or to call the police. Assault is illegal, and so is rape — even if it's done by someone you are dating.

Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself from your friends and family. You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or you might be embarrassed about what's been going on, but this is when you need support most. People like counselors, doctors, teachers, coaches, and friends will want to help you, so let them.

Don't rely on yourself alone to get out of the situation. Friends and family who love and care about you can help you break away. It's important to know that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It actually shows that you have a lot of courage and are willing to stand up for yourself.

Where to Get Help
Ending abuse and violence in teen relationships is a community effort with plenty of people ready to help. Your local phone book will list crisis centers, teen help lines, and abuse hotlines. These organizations have professionally trained staff to listen, understand, and help. In addition, religious leaders, school nurses, teachers, school counselors, doctors, and other health professionals can be sources of support and information.

You can also get involved at a school or community level as an advocate to help prevent future dating abuse. One example of a school-based program is Safe Dates. Talk to your school guidance counselor about starting a group or other ways to get involved in making sure dating abuse doesn’t happen to people in your school.

Abuse has no place in love.

Reviewed by: Michelle New, PhD-Date reviewed: November 2007

Source: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html

Hopeless loser boyfriends!!!

The difference between dating a cute, underemployed artist/actor/musician type and a cute, underemployed freeloader can be hard to distinguish. Is your man in a permanent slump? Here are four signs to watch out for and how to take control of the situation.

Sign #1: He’s Always Broke.

Deadbeat boyfriends are notorious for having a million excuses about why they are constantly broke. The economy is bad, his former boss was a jerk, he’s waiting for the check to come in, etc. What they don’t have, however, is a plan to turn their financial situation around.

Sign #2: He’s Lazy.

Do you leave the house in the morning while he’s still under the covers and come home to find him parked on the couch? If he’s always on Facebook, playing video games, or even if it’s just a small thing like not replacing the empty toilet paper roll when it’s out, laziness and a supreme lack of motivation are definite signs of deadbeat behavior.

Sign #3: He’s Erratic.

You may love that he is a nonconformist, but if the guy you’re dating continually demonstrates shady tendencies, like disappearing for days, binge drinking, or staying out all night and refusing to tell you where he’s been, consider yourself warned.

Sign #4: He Lets You Support Him.

No matter how affectionate he is, do not allow your boyfriend to live with you and not pay at least half of the rent and shared expenses. Likewise, no self-respecting man would let his girlfriend always take him out to dinner without ever reciprocating. If your boyfriend allows you to support him or needs your help to accomplish even the most mundane of tasks, he might be classic DBB.

So what do you do?First, stop spending money on him and doing anything that he would otherwise have to pay someone to do. You may think that you’re helping, but, in the long run, by allowing him to mooch off of you (both financially and emotionally), you are simply enabling his behavior and giving him no reason to change. Instead, talk to him about how you feel and be firm that you are uncomfortable dating (or living with) someone that is unemployed (or broke or lazy.)

Hopefully, if he has any sense, this should be enough to motivate him. However, if not, put him to work around the house and let him work off his share of responsibilities by playing a role that women have played for decades, that of the housewife. If you don’t decide to break-up, at the very least, you will have someone to cook you dinner and sign for your Ebay packages!

Source: www.sheknows.com

Dating Advice for Women

Natural Aphrodisiacs for Women

Sex and the ultimate quest for pleasure, have always preoccupied both men and women. While propaganda always highlights the male preoccupation with sexual fulfillment, women are also eager to experiment with aphrodisiacs. Studies reveal that a significant proportion of women never achieve orgasm and sexual fulfillment. Natural aphrodisiacs are substances occurring in nature like plants, fruits, nuts and vegetables that can be used to stimulate and enhance desire. They may also improve the ability to have sex.

Many of the natural aphrodisiacs work for men and women alike but in different ways, acting on their natural systems with the end goal of intensifying sexual desire. Some of the following items are formulated to boost the libido, or even to expand sexual experience. Then there are those that are designed to improve general well-being, increase energy and act as mood enhancers – leading to a greater interest in sex.

Some of the natural female aphrodisiacs are:
Arginine, an amino acid found in meat, nuts, eggs, coconut milk and cheese, has been found as a safe and effective route to increase the amount of growth hormone (GH) released from the pituitary gland that helps to retard many aspects of aging. As a natural female aphrodisiac, Arginine, along with other supplements, enhances sexual desire, can reduce vaginal dryness, increase the frequency of intercourse and orgasm and even improve clitoral sensation and sexual arousal, thus giving a boost to the libido.

Chocolate, favored by the Aztec gods, helps the release of serotonin that is responsible for feelings of relaxation and pleasure. Dark chocolate is preferable as it contains a higher level of cocoa that is supposed to be more effective. It provides a boost to some good, old-fashioned loving and has the additional advantage of being high in magnesium and antioxidants.

Damiana has been found to contain alkaloids that directly stimulate the sex organs and is also known for its ability to tone the mucous membranes of reproductive organs. Mexican women used to drink an infusion of the herb a couple of hours before bed, to get aroused for their men.

Thus it acts as a sexual stimulant. It not only increases the possibility of reaching orgasm but also increases its intensity and betters sexual performance. It is also known to be helpful for the digestive system. It has been helpful in female physiological/hormonal areas such as irritability, headache and acne, and menstrual difficulties, insufficient flow or delayed menstruation in adolescent girls.

Fenugreek, a medicinal plant, has aromatic seeds which were used extensively by the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. Harem women used it as part of their staple diet, to increase the size and roundness of their breasts. It is also reportedly used in some herbal products that claim ‘bust enhancement’ properties. It is sometimes recommended to nursing mothers to improve their milk supply. It aids in the synthesis of various sex hormones and has estrogenic effects. The seeds have a maple syrup-like odor, and can freshen breath, making somebody more likely to want to get closer to you!

Source: http://www.futurescopes.com

Zane's Top 9 Ways to Have Mind-Blowing Sex Tonight

The best-selling romance writer shows you how to heighten your pleasure and feel more empowered in the bedroom. (We apologize in advance for making you sweat out your hair!)

1. Use your car for more than driving.

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

2. Hook up in the hallway.

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag—and any inhibitions—as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you've been waiting to feel his hands on you all day—and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

3. Make love to his mind.

Ask your man one simple question: "What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?" It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you're comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

4. Get on top

Forget about the missionary position—tonight you're riding high. I know you're nervous: I'm constantly getting questions from my readers about the woman-on-top position. But you deserve to take control at times. Not only will your partner appreciate being able to lie back and enjoy himself, but you'll also feel empowered by taking the lead. And trust me, I'm sure if you need a little assistance on top, your man will help you get into the groove.

5. Spoil yourself

Manless at the moment? Try picking a night to tune out the rest of the world and indulge your senses at home. Turn off your phone, order in a decadent meal, and only leave your scented, candlelit bath to slip into a plush robe and head for bed. Top the night off by pleasuring yourself to sleep.

6. Get ahead of the game.

Feel like you can't say even one word to your man while the Yankees are playing? Actions speak louder anyway. So long as he's not watching the World Series, be bold enough to try to tempt him away from the television with a sexy striptease. He'll remember that it's not whether his team wins or loses, but how much play he gets.

7. Disappear for seven minutes.

Next time you're both at a party, sneak off—one at a time—to the bathroom, a closet or any space you can find for a quickie. The adrenaline rush of possibly getting caught will increase your excitement tenfold.

8. Use your imagination.

Go alone to a coffee shop or an erotic poetry night and fantasize about sexy men you see there. Which ones look like great lovers? How would the guy in the corner handle your body? Later that night, put your mind to the ultimate challenge: See if you can reach orgasmic ecstasy by simply playing out the interlude in your mind.

9. Make every moment matter.

Happen to find yourself in one of those awfully slow fast-food drive-throughs? When you're done shouting into the microphone, lean over to your man and, in silky-soft tones, talk dirty in his ear. Even use your fingers to explore each other's bodies in a little foreplay. But stop fooling around before you get into camera range. Don't worry, you can continue at home and really have it your way.

He's Just Not That Into You!

A Male's Perspective:


Women often have a hard time figuring out when a guy is truly interested or when he’s just playing games. So we found help. But not just any help; we wanted the raw truth. Veteran journalist Anslem Samuel, who pens a popular blog on life, love and relationships called Naked With Socks On, decided to help the sisters out. Read on to learn the inside scoop from a real man on who is really feelin’ you and worth your attention and who should be kicked to the curb for wasting your valuable time.


The Selfish Lover
He isn’t concerned about your sexual satisfaction.
Anslem says: If the man you choose to share a bed with isn’t concerned with pleasuring you, then why should you bother pleasing him? Sex is a team sport and if one person isn’t carrying their weight they need to be cut from the team immediately with no ifs, ands and definitely no butt.


The 'Round the Way Foodie
He never takes you out or only takes you to the local Chinese food or wings spot.
Anslem says: Unless this brother is strapped for cash (we are in a recession) or still in high school, taking a lady to such lowbrow eateries is unacceptable. This has nothing to do with whether he’s feeling you or not, it’s a matter of class. You don’t have to eat out every night, but a man that’s really trying to woo a woman will do better than Chinese takeout or a bucket of wings.


The Lip-Service Dude
He says he loves you but doesn’t show it. (Is he only saying it because he feels pressured?)
Anslem says: A man can say I love you until he’s out of breath; the words mean nothing without any action to back them up. In a perfect world, men would only say what they mean, but we all know that’s not the case. When it comes to men and the “L word,” sometimes actions speak louder.


The Cheapskate
He never pays the bill. Anslem says: Two words: Lose-er. Times are hard across the board and going Dutch may be more commonplace now, but a man that mooches off a woman is a definite no-no. Regardless of his financial situation, a man that’s seriously interested in a woman will make some sort of effort to cater to her needs and not the other way around.


The Not-So Gentleman
He doesn’t look out for your safety and well-being.
(Like ensuring you make it home okay or seeing you to your door.)
Anslem says: There are subtle signs that a man is interested and then there’s common courtesy. Making sure a woman makes it home safely after leaving your care is rule No. 1 in the gentleman’s handbook, and if a man forgets about you as soon as you walk out his door you should return the favor and keep it moving.


The "Non-Family" Guy
He doesn’t introduce you to his inner circle and/or family.
Anslem says: This one can go either way. For every guy that views women as trophies to show off to his buddies, there’s one that prefers spending quality time alone getting to know a woman he really likes. As for meeting family members, that’s a big step in any relationship, so unless you have an official title, don’t stress it. But beware the fella that appears to be purposely keeping you separated from his family and friends. That may mean he’s hiding something.


The Committment Phobe
He doesn’t introduce you to his inner circle and/or family.
Anslem says: This one can go either way. For every guy that views women as trophies to show off to his buddies, there’s one that prefers spending quality time alone getting to know a woman he really likes. As for meeting family members, that’s a big step in any relationship, so unless you have an official title, don’t stress it. But beware the fella that appears to be purposely keeping you separated from his family and friends. That may mean he’s hiding something.


The Mystery Man
He doesn’t give you the details of his life. (Where he works, where he really lives, etc.)
Anslem says: Everyone has a right to their own private life, but concealing your place of work and residence is not only odd, it’s a major red flag. Unless you’re dating a secret agent, there’s no reason for him to be so secretive about basic conversation topics. Sounds like someone has something to hide and you should go seek love elsewhere.

The Holiday Dodger
You never spend any holidays together.
Anslem says: Are we talking about Thanksgiving, Christmas or Kwanzaa? These holidays are generally a time for family, so spending it with your significant other can be a big step in the relationship. Unless you’re married or engaged, somebody’s parents could be upset that their child is spending it away from home, so splitting major holidays might be a way of keeping peace. But something is definitely fishy when your man would rather spend Memorial Day weekend with his boys instead of his boo.

Mr. Telephone Man...Not!
He doesn’t call.
Anslem says: Some guys just aren’t the talkative types or can actually be “busy,” but all that goes out the window when a man is dealing with a woman he wants—just make sure he wants you for your mind and not your body. Not calling frequently or lessening communication after a while could be a sign that his interest is waning. But if you’re always the one initiating contact, take that as a clear sign: He’s just not feelin’ you.

Source: Essence.com

Cupids Kisses Brings You Online Dating!

Greetings,

I know it has been much anticipated. Cupids Kisses online dating is now available. Connect with hundreds of singles that are looking for love in your area!

Tired of the games, lonely nights, going to the movies by yourself and pointless date after date? Let Cupid work his magic today!

Click here to visit Cupids Kisses Online Dating

How to Say “I’m sorry” and Save Your Relationship

The importance of apologizing in a romantic relationship or marriage is well known, but it’s amazing how many boyfriends, girlfriends, wives and husbands have a hard time saying “I’m sorry” . . . even if they know it could stave off a breakup or divorce.

It’s a fact that saying you’re sorry (when it’s necessary) is one of the best romantic ideas you could use to improve your relationship, but even in the face of this fact too many couples find it difficult to say those three important little words.

Do you know when to say “I’m sorry?”

It’s a simple question, but an important one: When exactly should we offer an apology to our sweetheart? Not knowing when an apology is necessary or appropriate is a major underlying problem for many people who don’t say they’re sorry. Oftentimes a lover fails to apologize not because they are trying to be rude or mean, but because they just aren’t used to saying it.

If you have been told you don’t apologize enough, you may need to ask yourself whether you need to make an extra effort to pay more attention to the feelings of those around you. While you may not be purposely rude or uncaring, not showing any concern for your sweetheart’s feelings is a quick ticket to a relationship void of romance.

Start with litle “I’m sorry’s” and work up to big ones. If you need to work on your “I’m sorry” skills, start small and work your way up. If you’re a proud or stubborn person (and a lot of us are!), then practicing apologizing for little mistakes is a great way to build up your nerve to say your sorry after a serious argument.

And by starting to say “I’m sory” to your sweetheart even for little mistakes, you’ll show your lover that you really are committed to changing and paying better attention to their feelings!
Saying “I’m sorry” even if you don’t mean it.

Does everyone who says “I’m sorry” really mean it every time? Of course not! But one of the secrets to building a successful romance is putting the feelings of your sweetheart, and the health of your relationship, before your own pride and anger.

Saying “I’m sorry” is often all that’s necessary to defuse an argument and set the path to reconciliation. And yes, sometimes it takes a strong person to make a relationship the number one priority and be the first to apologize . . . even when they don’t mean it.

Are you prepared to be that strong person who swallows pride and puts the relationship first? Saying you’re sorry can be a very difficult thing to do, but the rewards that could come your way make it worth the effort.

Source: http://www.romancetracker.com/how-to-say-im-sorry-and-save-your-relationship/

Mistakes that Could RUIN your Relationship!

Relationships: The 8 Most Common Mistakes that Can Ruin your Relationship

Mistake 1: Trying To Change Your Partner:
"If they love me enough, they'll change to please me." So many believe that they can and will change their partner. It's only a matter of time. They say, "If he loves me enough, he'll change that small thing to please me." But to your partner, that "small thing" isn't so small. Even if they do try to change to please you, very often they become resentful. "You don't love me for myself, but for the person you want me to be," they say. And it's true. When you try to change them they feel you don't really love them. You just want to turn them into someone to fill your needs.

Mistake 2: Feeling Like You're A Failure In Relationships.
When some people see that things aren't working they become depressed. They start to feel as though they're not lovable, that destiny is against them or that they will always be a failure in love. The truth is that you're not a failure. You simple have not yet been taught important truths about relationships. Once you learn and practice new ideas and methods, you'll be able to handle your life in a way you may have never thought possible.

Mistake 3: Believing You Have To Be "Good Enough" To Keep Their Love.
Many feel they're not "good enough". They feel they have to turn into a pretzel to keep someones love. Recently a woman came to me and said, "I finally found a wonderful man but I'm miserable in the relationship. Everyday I worry that he'll find out who I really am and leave." This woman not only expected rejection, she actually did little things to bring it about. Soon she began to sabotage the relationship, finding fault with him at every turn. Although she didn't realize it, she did this to feel better about herself. The truth is we can never earn another person's love. The more we try the worse we feel. We must simply understand that who we truly are is entirely lovable. We must learn to make friends with ourselves.

Mistake 4: Rejecting Your Partner So They Can't Do It First.
Many reject their partners as protection individuals against being rejected themselves. The bottom line is these may not feel they deserve a relationship, they feel they can't hold onto a partner because they haven't accepted themselves.

Mistake 5: Believing Your Partner Should Read Your Mind, And Know What You Want Without Your "Communicating" Clearly.
"If he/she really loved me, they'd know what I needed and give it to me." Many believe that if their partners really loved them, they would read their minds. It wouldn't be necessary to have to actually ask for what they wanted. This is one of the most serious mistakes people make in relationships. Without truthful, open, communication no relationship can flourish. Effective communication, however, can be a skill. And though you may feel that you have repeated yourself a thousand times, that YOU HAVE communicated. There are available communication techniques which, in and of themselves, can save your relationship. Not only is it necessary to know what you want, and to ask for it clearly (without producing guilt) -- it is also necessary to be able to accept both yes and no.

Mistake 6: Believing It's Your Partner's Job To Make You Happy.
Your partner is not there to meet all your needs. If he/she says no, it doesn't mean he/she doesn't love you. Some demands may be impossible to fulfill. It is not your partner's job to make you happy. Your partner should be here to grow and share with you.You must learn to make yourself happy, and make others happy as well. Love is based upon communicating, consideration and giving. First, however, you must be happy with yourself, before another can make you happy.

Mistake 7: Believing It's Hard To Get Him To Talk.
"No matter what I do I can't get him to talk, and I do not believe he is sharing all of his honest feelings with me." Many women claim they can't get men to talk. When time comes for intimate conversation guys clam up, offer a few grunts and expect women to magically understand what's going on. Women feel shut out and men feel misunderstood. However, there is something women don't realize. Men want to talk. Under the right conditions, they'll talk all night long. Men desperately want to let others know what's going on. However, something else many don't realize is, men are more fragile than women. In order for them to talk, things have to be right. All that's needed here is to learn how to create the right conditions, what is necessary for a man to feel safe enough with you to talk.

Mistake 8: Being Addicted To Fighting.
Many couples keep relationships alive and exciting by fighting. When they see their partner upset, it reassures them that they care. Others have seen their parents fighting and this is the only role model they have. Some are addicted to the "high" they get out of fighting. A few crave the feeling of domination or control. Domination is not love. If it hurts, it is abuse, not love.


Dr Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, workshop leader, is the award-winning author of many books. Her most recent book "Jewish Dharma (Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen)," http://www.jewishdharma.com, offers new ways of healing both relationships and all aspects of our lives.

Source: http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/help/advice/everyone-wins-mediation-8-common-relationship-mistakes.aspx?artid=1318

"Bust the Windows Out Your Car"

Jazmine's Sullivan's song, Bust Your Windows has caused quite a stir amid the dating few. Sullivan's song describes a woman's feelings of betrayal, hatred and ultimately revenge for catching her man cheating on her.

Hence, the lyrics:

I bust the windows out your car

After I saw you laying next to her

I didn't wanna but I took my turn

I'm glad I did it cuz you had to learn

I bust the windows out your car

you should feel lucky that was all I did

After 5 whole years of this bulls***

Gave you all of me and you played with it

Sullivan's song describes what a lot of us ladies would like to do once we feel we have been done wrong by the one we thought and believed to love us. Sullivan isn't the first woman scorned that cried out about it over the airwaves. There is Carrie Underwood in "Think Before he Cheats," and Blu Cantrell's "Hit 'em up Style," to name a few.

However, busting your man's window's, carving your name in his vehicle (which is quite incriminating ladies), burning clothing, prank calling his momma and holding his babies captive are not the way to go ladies. For some reason, defacing a man's property when a woman is scorned seems to make us feel better.

"Women who feel scorned understand that they cannot hurt a man emotionally in a way that is connected to the love, because he has already done that, but they can attack his status and his property as a way of diminishing his position in the world," says the BV love coach, Rebecca Brody.

Brody is an expert on women exhibiting behavior which she calls "catching the crazy," especially as it relates to infidelity and relationships.

"When a mate is unfaithful, women inevitably ask themselves "What's wrong with me?" or "What did I do to push him away" or "Am I not enough?'" notes Kerika Fields, author of 'He's Gone, You're Back: The Right Way To Get Over Mr. Wrong'.

"It's a blow to our ego and self-esteem, and understandably so, which is unfortunate because sometimes infidelity is not about us, it's about the man, his choices and issues."

Not to mention the fact that all legal liability will fall on YOU and you may find your self paying big fines or spending some time in jail for your actions. Vandalism offenses are often punishable as misdemeanors or even felonies, with strict consequences such as:
Fines
Mandatory community service
Incarceration (jail time)


Vandalism can take many forms, including:
*Broken windows
*Graffiti, from insignificant scribbles to huge paintings on buildings, trains, and buses
*Theft of property
*Arson
*Posting leaflets and handbills
*Damage to mailboxes
*Destruction of playground equipment, library books, campground or beach facilities
*Defacing gravestones
*Egging or toilet papering property
*Littering

Bottom line ladies, if in fact you are scorned to the point where you feel you HAVE to get revenge, don't screw up your OWN life by ending up with a criminal record or behind bars. Be SMART about what you do. Report him to the IRS or the state for not paying child support. DO NOT call his job under any circumstances because KARMA will pull your number soon :)

CUPID'S ADVICE FOR LADIES: Keep Your # to Yourself!

My wedding is three months away.

My fiance and I had a fight about how many men I’ve slept with. We were having fun at first, then he asked me. He asked me when we dated, too. I told him a different number this time and he flipped out. The truth is I’ve slept with so many men I can’t remember. I don’t want to remember how many. Now, he’s having doubts about what he calls my “virtue”. I am so scared that I messed things up. He hasn’t spoken to me in a week and we have a wedding shower coming up. Should I just tell him the truth about my past?

Worried,

G. Lady

_________________________________________
NOOOOOOO. Every woman has secrets. If it has nothing to do with him, no need to tell. No matter if it’s 1 or 100 it can never be the “right” number.

I am sensing that he is upset about something else. He may be using this little number thing as an excuse. But you didn’t say how much different was your number. Did you tell him 3 the first time, then 5 the next. Or 3 the first time, and 27 the next. If so, then maybe he’s pissed at that, too. I just don’t see why he hasn’t spoken to you over a week about this. If I were you, I’d start talking to is family and find out what’s really good.



He could be wanting to slow this all down. But let’s just say he is angry about the number, there’s an age old adage: once you get to 10, you start at 1 again. A real woman never gives her number. These days women are more single longer than ever thus having more partners, not something many women choose, but it’s just biology. We have to mate, of course with discretion because a woman should always be looking to preserve her genetic integrity and not squander it with the pool boy when you wanted the banker boy.

Hold your ground. Make him know that it is only him for life. Understand that he may be confused now. Talk to him, but keep the details of your past, in the past.

Credit: http://www.marryyourbabydaddy.com/blog.html

With Cupid's Kiss, LLC. We'll Make Sure This NEVER Happens to You!

Is My Ex Serious About the Breakup, Or is There Still Something There?

Is your ex acting like you, the person who so recently was the center of his world, don't mean anything to him anymore? Can he really have lost what he felt, or is there still a spark in there somewhere? The truth is, your ex may not even know how he feels about you...that confusion may be part of what led to the breakup.

YOU can know, however. All you need to do is see how your ex is treating you, because actions speak louder than words. There's an idea out there, an idea of a "scale of feelings." Basically, it says that how we feel about someone has two extremes: on one side, total indifference, and on the other side the extreme feelings like love or hate. After the "let's be friends" line, you can tell how your ex really feels about you by how he treats you. If he doesn't initiate any contact at all, you may be on "indifference" end of the scale...

BUT, if he tries to contact you two or three times a week, it's clear that you're still on his mind, which means you're closer to the other end of the scale. It can get confusing when his actions say he's still in love with you, while he tells you he's not interested in a meaningful relationship anymore...but he's not just playing with you, he may honestly not understand what you mean to him. Until something is done, this game will just keep playing out.

So if it looks like your ex is still into you, and doesn't know it...how do you put an end to these games and win your ex back?

Can you get your ex back ? Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com how-to-attract-your-ex-lover-back. You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

Credit: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/Is-My-Ex-Serious-About-the-Breakup--Or-is-There-Still-Something-There-/510072

Ways to Bring Romance Back to the Relationship

One of the major reasons why marriages or long-term relationships don't work is because couples fall into a typical routine and often ignore the most important element in their relationship- ROMANCE.

No matter how exciting a relationship may be initially, the romance soon fizzles out, as couples get busy with their daily chores. Its the time when you see your partner everyday in different roles except that of a lover. There is so much to do that you barely find some time alone with your partner. This is the time to take hold of your love life and see to it that you salvage your relationship from permanent damage.


How many times you may have walked down the memory lane and hoped that those golden days returned. However, it's never too late to spice up your love life. It's in your hands to take your relationship in whichever direction you want. You and your partner need to take some time off to rekindle romance and see to it that every moment thereafter is truly special in every way.


Simple tips to bring romance into your life: It's natural that you may hardly find time for each other especially if you have small kids or a baby. But, don't let that steal away the time from you that was rightfully meant for you and your partner. If possible, request your parents or a close family friend to watch the kids for a while and use this time for a quiet romantic dinner or a movie together. You may also consider having a baby sitter watch your kids at least once a week so that you can spend that time with your partner. Getting away from the kids for some time can be a great stress buster and can also give you an opportunity to discuss important matters alone with your partner.


Groom yourself: One thing that simply kills the romance in your relationship is the way you start ignoring your appearance. Just because you have found that special someone who loves you for what you are does not mean that you stop paying attention to the way you dress or the way you look. Is that the way you used to look when you were dating your partner? If the answer is no then why should there be any change at all just because you have moved on in your relationship. Look as good as you used to be and see the difference.

Pamper your partner: Send a surprise gift when your partner is at work with a small handwritten note. Your partner will be truly touched with your sensitivity and love you for these little surprises. Its important to try out new things that will delight your partner and bring back the romance in your mundane lives. Try cooking your favorite dish together and thereafter enjoy your dinner with soft music playing in the background. Wind it up with a relaxing massage and let things follow.

Try these simple things and see how your relationship takes a new turn.

Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/Ways-To-Bring-Romance-Into-Your-Relationship/200170